Of course I had no explanation. My mind was flooded with this new information and how I had instigated it. I wanted to punch myself in the head several times, or better yet, have him punch me out. I would have gladly let him vent that way on me. I caused his pain but I couldn’t take it away or make it better.
“I love you though, Jillian. Like I’ve never loved anyone before!” my voice quivered, “You now have me to love … ya know, if you want to!”
Suddenly, he turned back toward me. I thought sure that I would take a deserved beating and winced, prepared for his onslaught. He only grabbed me and pulled me to him, rolled us over, him on top of me and he kissed me. A deep tongue over tongue, teeth grinding, mouth lock kiss! This time I didn’t resist and returned the intimacy.
Our cocks were still very erect from the Viagra, despite the anything-but sensual mood, and the utter sadness of it all. I found it amusing how that could even be possible. His hot poker found its way to my thighs once again but I knew in my heart what he desired of me. No words were said. I reached for the baby oil and handed it to him, lifted my knees and spread my thighs that alone was presumptuous enough. He needed no assurances that I wanted him as well.
He wasted no time once I secured my legs to my chest, giving him unrestricted access, the final inference of submissiveness to him. I felt the baby oil applicator scrape my cherry hole as it entered with slight discomfort, then the warm liquid squirt two or three generous streams a short distance within, most of it oozing out and down my crack followed by the insertion of several fingers that lubricated a deeper path for him to pursue. Again, I felt that pain-verses-pleasure sensation, relieved in thinking that perhaps the inevitable final act of intercourse may not be as harsh as I perceived it would be.
Jill positioned himself leaning slightly over me propped by one arm as the fingers of his free hand searched and found their target once again, then guide his manhood to its mark, ready to make it’s desired journey He pushed and the pain was unbearable. He pushed harder, the pain intolerable. I yelped but endured the agony. No, not agony, excruciating pain as he worked the meaty head fractions of an inch forward, stretching my anus to impossible and painful anatomical threshold that I thought certain would gore me open at any time and result in hospital stitching. He saw the silent pain on my face, in all probability awaiting me to beg him to stop. I was certain that he would not have obliged.
His force pushed me up the bed several inches until my head was uncomfortably kinked against the headboard. Lodged in place with nowhere for me slither, he drove forward with little progress and commented, “You’re fucking tighter than any ten year old, Jacky! Relax yourself, it’ll make it easier on both of us.” he muttered with a quiver in his voice.
I had learned the unthinkable, Jill had fucked young boys! Why would he make that reference if he didn’t mean it? I didn’t know why, perhaps some kind of romantic illusion, grandiose wishful thinking that I was the first to give myself to him in that way. I began to cry, a hurt more feeling than his attempt to impale me.
Both his hands secured my hips pulling me onto him and with another few thrusts he was well on his way, the barrier had been broken, my virginity lost forever.
Suddenly, he was as deep inside me. I felt the coarse pubic hair prickle the base of my tender scrotum, sweat was dripping from his head onto my belly and chest as he towered over me. He wasn’t satisfied that he was already buried to the max, he pushed harder as he painfully grasped my hips and forced himself another inch or so to depths unknown. I felt his pubic bone as he mashed into me, his balls upon my ass, one of which rested in my crack and against the inflamed ring of my rectum. I wondered what kind of internal damage that I would suffer, imagining laying on an operating table, belly cut wide as doctors tried to save my ruptured organs!
Resting in that position for a short while, he commenced his onslaught, pulling out and ramming back into me merciless. Each thrust brought a scream from my mouth, tears began to flow anew. Any fantasies that I may have had as to him making tender love to me were shattered. It was animal carnage, he had gone wild like a mad man battering me in selfish motive, not gentle and loving as I expected.
I had been a willing participant to every other sexual overture he introduced me to, they were all mutually pleasurable, but what he was inflicting on me then was brutal torture. My shame for even allowing another male to take advantage of me in that way was deplorable. I deserved it and I’d endure it to the bitter end, which did happen when he fell onto me in exhaustion, not orgasm that brought it to an end.
He laid upon me for long while. I found his cock not so unpleasant inside me then, a numbing effect had reduced my tolerance to pain. Perhaps if he had of been gentle, exercising slow rhythmic motion in allowing me to adjust I might very well have enjoy it more, the way I supposed it was meant to be.
He fell into a sound sleep and I gently eased him off me and onto his back, the void of his manhood quite sadly noticeable. I snuggled up to him and drifted off.
It was almost noon when I was awoken to the warmth of his mouth and found him straddling me. His hard cock hovered a few inches above my face. I had planned on being pissed off and letting him know how bad he hurt me in the physical sense, but that could wait! What he was doing to me down there took over my emotions.
After careful scrutiny of his cock for unappetizing traces of his rectal rapture, to which its absence surprised me. The only scent was a strong manly, musky perspiration with a hint of baby oil.
I strained my neck upward and took him in my mouth. Jill spread his knees and lowered to a level that enabled me ease to re-explore him uninhibited, and without urgency. Complete devotion, inflicting stimulant from his knob to his hole that my tongue excavated without degradation or shame, my own sexual initiative and undertaking. That caused him to cease sucking me, his head bent backward and ground his rear into my face.
“Fuck Jacky, that is so fucking good! You’re tongue fucking me, dude and it feels fucking awesome!” he growled before taking me in his mouth again but with added enthusiasm to administer to my needs.
Slick with saliva, I buried a finger inside him searching for that magical place he knew so well, not knowing what to look for until his rectal muscles responded and clenched my finger. He quivered and moaned, sending that incredible feeling up and down my shaft.
I resumed sucking his cock with resolve, and after only a few minutes I felt his ass pulse on my finger and his cock throb in my mouth and with an ecstatic howl he unloaded his nectar. I swallowed each ejaculate as quick as I could, realizing that it was quite a difficult feat to accomplish with a mouth full of cock! I let it take its course and concentrated on relieving him to the very last discharge before ingestion. The familiar taste seemed more passable, not pleasant, just … well, tolerable.
Spent, he concentrated his effort on me. Snuggled between my legs he went down on me with loving intent. Not aggressive, but not passive either, using his tongue as freely as I had upon him. I jolted in pain when his fingers prodded the swollen lips of my rectum, until then I hadn’t realized the rawness and sensitivity. He was quick to appreciate the assault he imposed upon me earlier.
“I’m sorry, Jacky. I don’t know what came over me last night. I was pretty rough on ya, being your first time and all,” he said with remorse holding my cock to his lips. “But I can’t lie and say I didn’t like being inside of you. I get carried away and selfish with anal sex. Sometimes I like it rough like … ya know …” he stroked me up and down, spread my pee slit and licked as he gently massaged my little balls, “like more macho, I guess. Carl liked it rough sometimes, too! He used to say that sometimes a guy had to show aggression, a release of pent up anxiety. Like when Carl had a bad day, I knew that I was in for a rough ride that night. But that’s what I was there for, … to love him and make his day better in the end.”
He made love to my cock, making up for his flagrant abuse to my behind. I forgave him whole heartedly, happy then that I was also there for him, to love him and make his day better, just the same as he had with Carl. I hoped that he could love me like he loved Carl.
I made a mental note. Maybe, just maybe, we could find Carl somehow! I knew that I would loose him then, however I was willing to gamble and sacrifice for his happiness. My eyes began to swell with tears at the thought, but I pushed all aside and let him do his penance on me.
Wanting to prolong Jill’s euphoric persuasion being applied to my genitals I tried in desperation to hold back. It was the ultimate in pleasure, far exceeding his earlier performance. He brought me just to the edge several times, then would back off and assume a tongue basting of my balls and soothing flirtation of my inflamed rectum.
He allowed and brought me to wondrous orgasm on his final oral assault. He gagged momentarily not expectant to the force and volume I spewed forth. I was amazed at the intensity myself, it seemed that my balls tapped into a reserve of baby makers.
The knock on the door and the abrupt intrusion that followed caused my heart to stop. “Jacky its afternoon and time to — Oh, My Lord!” she heaved, hands to her face. This time she saw it all. My hard cock in Jill’s mouth for just a second, but a second too late. Regardless, his fingers firmly secured at the base would have been enough incriminating evidence. There would be no denying the implicitly, even at her old age.
She depicted the religious sign of the cross, turned and ran from the room reciting the prayer, “Our Father, Who …” the words trailing behind her.
That kind of spoiled the mood for me, my cock deflated in an instant, but not Jill. He went right back to what he was doing, as if he’d experienced only a minor inconvenience and disruption, coaxing the final droplets from my shaft.
I was mortified! My old granny just witnessed me getting a blowjob. Seconds earlier she would have seen me cum, probably all over Jill’s face when he released me to gaze at the sudden distraction!
Jill, un-perplexed, crawled up my body, took my head in his hands and brought his mouth to mine. I opened to receive his tongue and the unmistakable taste and texture of cum was deposited in my mouth.
He paused the kiss, smiled at me and said, “Told ya, Jacky, you’ve got the sweetest tasting cum I’ve ever had!” Jill resumed the kiss. He was right, my cum did taste somewhat better than his.
The request of a golden shower being granted as he lay in the bathtub, instant erection fisted, but no ejaculate mustered from his empty testicles. God, how he loved that strange fetish, his offer to piss all over me denied, we showered.
I knew that I would have to face the music. I located Grandma at her rightful place settled at the kitchen table, eyes closed and Rosary Beads rolling over her fingers in silent prayer.
She opened her eyes and smiled at me, a loving, grandmother like smile, and said softly, “Jack … sometimes a boy your age gets confused about things, they say its natural, experimental behavior,” she implied, shrugging her shoulders. I noticed a tear run down her cheek. “I’m not an old hen, stuck in the ways of old, Jack Sprat!” she emphatically expressed. “I watch television ya know,” like that was the ultimate, undisputable source of knowledge, “but I think you should stay away from that boy now on! He’s a bad influence on ya, mark my words young man. But even if you are that way, I’d still love ya like I loved ya from the day you was born! I always knew you was different, though.”
I was befuddled. My old Grandma, in her own way surmised my sexual fate before I even came to grips with it! The world was lifted off my shoulders, I felt at ease with her as I always had.
With hesitation, I decided to push the pendulum and admit truth as I knew it, “I love him, Grandma. He’s not all bad, and he’s my best friend. The only true friend I’ve ever had. Please don’t ask me to make a choice to keep him or disobey your wishes!” I begged teary eyed, moving forward and taking her in my arms.
She responded in kind and rocked me. “I love ya boy, I just don’t wanna see ya hurt “ The comfort of her arms soothing, her perpetual smell of stale perfume ever so pleasant to my senses and well being, not unlike the very first day she took me into her home and life, I felt wanted and loved from that very day forward.
She sighed and said, “Okay Jack, I’ll give him the benefit, seeing you’re so enamored, but I beg you to be careful, son. I’ll always be watchin’ out for ya! Go to him now, he’s probably concerned.” she whispered in my ear as if it was a deep, lover’s secret. She was one fuck of a perceptive lady, and I bawled on her shoulder. She knew. She knew full well. She pushed me from her and wiped the tears from my eyes with the tissue pulled from her cleavage, “Go to him Jack, if he truly makes you happy, then so be it, go to him. He`s waitin’ for ya, now git along!”
I loved her more than ever before. How could she possibly condone what she witnessed and know that my heart was preoccupied by a boy, not some puppy love fascination with a girl. A butch, manly boy who was teaching me unmanly things! She didn’t hide her dissention about Jillian, she warned me to be cautious, but she understood that I might be different, a reject of nature is what I considered it, but those harsh words never escaped Grandma’s lips.
I made us breakfast, eaten in my room, so as not to bring more un-comfort and tension to the household. He was snoozing, laying naked in my bed, oblivious to my conversation with Grandma, and I planned on keeping it that way. He later suggested we get a lock for the bedroom door, but I knew that there would be no more unannounced visits from Grandma.
Finishing his cereal, bowl on his lap, propped against the headboard, his tongue protruded taking on that knowing signature. Something was on his mind.
to be continued …